After all is said and done, more is said than done.
Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Assume the worst, you'll never be disappointed.
Avoid the 5 o'clock traffic, leave work at noon.
Better to be thought stupid than to speak and confirm it.
Beware of a half truth; you may be getting the wrong half.
Diplomacy: the art of letting someone else have your way.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Do the impossible and your boss will add it to your duties.
Don't cloud the issue with facts.
Don't let your superiors know you're superior to them.
Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do!
Don't question authority, it doesn't know either.
Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.
Every job requires a tool that you don't have.
Every time I have all the answers, they change questions!
First things first... nothing can be easier than that!
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
Give a man an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler.
He said: Smile, things could be worse! I did! They were!
He who is good for making excuses, is seldom good for anything else.
I came... I saw... I had NO idea what was going on...
I can't remember if I used to know that.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
I used to be disgusted, but now I try to be amused.
I would if I could but I can't so I won't.
If all the world's a stage I sure got lousy seats...
If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
If you trade freedom for security, you get neither.
If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
It's easier to be critical than to be correct.
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It's hard to soar with Eagles when surrounded by Turkeys!
Let's face it, I'm right and you're not convinced!
Like I said before, I don't repeat myself!
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Meetings will continue until productivity improves.
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
My mind's made up. Don't confuse me with the facts.
Never appeal to his better nature. He may not have one.
Never argue with a fool – people might not know the difference.
Never itch for anything you aren't willing to scratch for.
Never mind what road we're on... keep your eyes on the carrot!
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
No matter which side of the door the cat or dog is on, it's the wrong side.
Oh yea? If you're so smart, why don't I understand you?
On what conclusion do you base your facts?
Once, I thought I was wrong – but I was mistaken.
Onward and backward! We must look busy.
Open your ears before your mouth.
Our biggest problem is apathy – but who cares?
Pardon our dust... nonsense under construction.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs built the Ark.
Roses smell better than onions but make bad soup.
Secrecy at my job prevents me from knowing what I do.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Since I've used all of my sick days, I'm calling in dead.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
Sure, easy for you to say, you don't have to eat it.
Sure, they'll believe it. Just stamp it SECRET.
Talk is cheap, because supply exceeds demand.
Teaching a pig to sing wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Team effort: A lot of people doing what I say.
Thank you for not breathing while I smoke.
The First Myth of Management – It exists.
The longer a man is wrong, the surer he is that he's right.
The more I get done, the more I have to do...
The only successful substitute for brains: Silence!
The road to success is always under construction.
The scenery only changes for the lead dog.
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
There is always free cheese in a mousetrap.
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
True idiot-proofing is impossible – the idiots are so clever.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Watch where you go... remember where you've been...
We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
We should go metric every inch of the way!
We're lost, but we're making good time.
Welcome to the jungle. Please observe our laws.
What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.
When a subject becomes obsolete, it becomes required.
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Why can't you be a non-conformist like everyone else?
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
Your call will be answered in the order it was ignored.