90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
A closed mind gathers no facts.
A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
Any sufficiently advanced magic looks like technology.
Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
At least those who drink know what to blame everything on.
Best way to be useful – stay out of the way.
Better to have a gun and not need it, than need it and not have.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Don't cloud the issue with facts.
Don't get mad – get even!
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Every job requires a tool that you don't have.
Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
Evolution stops when stupidity is no longer fatal.
For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
Forget the dog – beware of the homeowner.
History is a set of lies agreed upon by the winners.
History repeats itself because nobody listens.
I will fight for your right to your wrong opinion.
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
LOTTERY: Just a tax on people who are bad at math.
Laugh at yourself before anyone else can...
Legislation is no substitute for character.
Let me know when the time for rational debate is over.
Life goes on within you and without you.
Logic does not cease to exist because it is ignored.
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
Man is the only animal that blushes... or needs to.
Mind-set is your primary weapon – Col. Jeff Cooper.
Minds are like parachutes: they only function when open.
Misinformation can come in the form of MISSEDinformation.
Most people deserve each other.
No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
Nothing is blinder or sadder than BLIND FAITH!
Onward and backward! We must look busy.
Optimists invent airplanes; pessimist invent parachutes.
Originality is the art of concealing your source.
Pardon my driving – I'm trying to reload.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Person who walks center of road gets hit from BOTH sides!
Pilgrims may follow but there can only be one Columbus.
QUESTION AUTHORITY – before you're not allowed to...
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
Stick your head in the sand and you get shot in the ass.
Success is a happy family.
Swallow pride, it's non-fattening.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Television is democracy at its ugliest.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best solution uses the fewest assumptions.
The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.
The individual is the smallest minority.
The light at the end of the tunnel is a tollbooth.
The more I get done, the more I have to do...
The more things change, the more they stay insane.
The problem with the future is it turns into the present.
The road to success is always under construction.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
There is no great genius without some touch of madness.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Walk with a smile, kind word, and a pocketed .38 Special!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
When a subject becomes obsolete, it becomes required.
When all else fails... take a nap.
When in doubt, EMPTY THE CLIP!
Why is common sense so uncommon these days?
You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
You're only young once. You're immature forever.